Wednesday, August 19, 2009


I know what you know,
sweet babies of mine.
God put us together,
He knew we’d be fine.

Things in life overwhelm you,
I understand why now.
Momma deals with some things too,
Each of you have shown me how.

Many will not understand you,
I didn’t understand myself for years.
You have me with you though,
To help with all your fears.

Our crazy dogs barking,
Or me running the vacuum.
I know those things upset you,
I don’t have to assume.

A rough and itchy shirt,
Or my hair touching my face.
They’re not just uncomfortable,
They scatter me all over the place.

Won’t eat much meat,
Veggies are out of the question.
I‘ll fix anything you want,
Baby, just give me a suggestion.

Wonder what time we’ll crash tonight,
Or how many times we’ll get back up?
I know it’s not your fault , little man,
Don’t you worry, there’s coffee in my cup.
Are you scared to death to walk right up,
And ask if he wants to play?
Think about what we’ve rehearsed,
Take a deep breath, and kick that anxiety away.

Most importantly, my little ones,
Love each other and always be yourself.
Being comfortable with who you are,
For some , is unachievable wealth.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Who Chooses?

Who chooses us for this journey?

Does God? I have always thought that he did.

Did I? Maybe I chose this path before I was born.

Did the children? They could have known we could make a difference together.

I believe God has sent these kids here with a powerful message. I think he wants to let us know many things. Many of us have fallen off the path to him. This world lacks love, unconditional love. He commands us to love thy neighbor. How many of us love our neighbors, really? We are often quick to judge each other. Judgment is not for us to pass. We take too many precious things in life for granted, daily. Simple things in life should gratify us. It is all about simplicity and love. In addition to the morality of it, we are destroying God’s precious creations with the pollution and toxins forced into them. Someone has to open our eyes before it is too late. There is no one better than God to open them.

Possibly, I chose to mother these children. Was there a lesson that I needed to learn? Patience? Appreciativeness? Unconditional love? Before I had children, I thought I had patience. I could sit and fish forever without a single bite. Truthfully, I knew nothing about patience. I waited two and a half years, to hear my child call me Momma. Talk about a lesson in patience. It also taught me to appreciate that tiny feat. I now know to take nothing for granted and to appreciate what I am given daily. Could I love someone that hit and threw things at me? Someone that screamed so loud at me my ears hurt constantly and spit on me when things didn‘t go according to plan? Before motherhood, I would have thought not. That lesson comes, too, from being blessed with these children.

I think these little guys knew that we would overcome all the tribulations that come our way. It seems that they knew we would have patience with them when others would not. We share their excitement when they accomplish things others would say they should have done a year ago. They know we are going to be the ones loving and calming them down, when they throw a car at us and bust our lip. My heart melts to think that they could have chosen me as their Momma.

Bottom line is….. It does not matter who chose whom for what. The message is what is of importance and I have no doubt that message comes from God.

God blessed each of us, with our children.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Sweet Baby Girl

Sweet Baby Girl, Miss Brooklyn Favre,
I know, with Coletrain, you try so hard.

Your brother, your twin, your partner in crime,
Your days will get easier, I promise, in time.

He hits and he screams and you don’t understand.
One day, I’ll explain it, as best as I can.

It breaks Momma’s heart, the way that you feel,
Unfortunately, autism, came in for the steal.

We get him back, a little more each week,
Listen to him now, he’s started to speak.

Our journey will be long and often up hill,
Stay strong and beside him, as I know you will.

Sweet Baby Girl, I never wanted it this way,
But thank God we have him, and continue to pray.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009



Daddy, please, just understand, I’m not quite like the others.
That doesn’t mean my love (for you) is less, it’s the same as my sister and brother.
Daddy, please, don’t get so mad, when I can’t go along with the plan.
My world is scattered, and so I break down, just take me by the hand.
Daddy, please, just comfort me and let me know it’s okay.
I’m getting better all the time, I’ll make you proud some day.
Daddy, know, I’m not just spoiled, ordering Momma around.
She’ll do whatever she can do, in this new life she’s found.
Daddy, know, that SpongeBob rocks, I have to watch him all day.
Compare it to that football game, the big one, where the last teams play.
Daddy, know, I sleep better with Momma, beside me every night.
I’ll sleep in my own bed, when I’m older and not so overcome by fright.
Daddy, yes, I know you love me, I feel it and see it in your face.
Just trying to help you understand, for me, this world can be a horrible place.

Monday, March 16, 2009

Have you ever?

I see the way you look at us and read your mind so well. Little brat or no control? It’s really hard to tell. I’ve seen the view from your eyes and thought the same things too. Please don’t judge too quickly, as next I could be you.
Have you ever?
Have you ever wished you could hold and receive affection from your child? Have you ever wished your child would look at you the fifth, sixth or seventh time you called his name? Have you ever wished he would call you Momma, Mom or Ma? Have you ever wished your 2 year old would tell you NO? Have you ever pointed to 8 different boxes of cereal to see which box he wants because he can’t tell you? Have you ever wondered why the things he does say, he says over and over? Have you ever been blessed with a smile from ear to ear because you understood what he meant the first time he tried to tell you something? Have you ever let him eat cereal all day long because that’s almost all he’ll eat? Have you fixed pizza ten or more times a week because he’ll eat that too? Have you ever washed that special plate and bowl 2 or 3 times a day because he has to eat off of them? Have you ever had to get up from the table twice in one sitting, to wash his precious hands because they got dirty and he won’t eat until they’re clean? Have you ever let your child wear the same shirt for 3 days in a row, thanking God at least he’s wearing clothes today? Have you ever taken his shoes off and put them back on 6 or 7 times, till they feel just right? Have you ever let him wear those shoes to bed, night after night? Have you ever wondered why he tiptoed all day long and could never sit still? Have you ever let him wear a sock hat all day and to bed because the pressure makes him feel a little better and covering his ears muffles a fraction of the night time noise? Have you ever wondered why out of all the toys he has to play with, he stares at the wheels of the car he rolls back and forth? Have you ever wondered why he doesn’t play? Have you ever had to draw the Wal-Mart star or spark twenty or more times a day? Have you ever had to ask the manager at Wal-Mart for a sign, so you wouldn’t have to draw it all day? Have you ever saw the joy on your child’s face to have that sign? Have you ever had to ask the manager at a restaurant if you could let him sneak a quick look at the kitchen before he’d sit down to eat? Have you ever had to get up and leave a restaurant as soon as your food hits the table? Have you been in the checkout line, with a cart full of groceries, when a major meltdown hits? Have you ever watched people stare at you and your child like you both have the plague? Have you then had to hold your head high and bite your lip for the sake of your child? Have you ever had to convince your pediatrician that something’s just not right? Have you ever had to sit through hours of intensive evaluations, scared of the unknown? Have you ever received the diagnosis of Autism for your child?

Chances are, many of you answered no to those questions and think they are crazy. Truth is, it is crazy and it‘s real. I hold his hand until he falls to sleep each night, sometimes hours on end. I then thank God for the opportunity, to wake up and do it all again. I’m blessed to be part of his journey and wouldn’t change any of him for the world.

Autism is a complex brain disorder that inhibits a person's ability to communicate and develop social relationships, and is often accompanied by behavioral challenges. Autism spectrum disorders are diagnosed in one in 150 children in the United States, affecting four times as many boys as girls. The prevalence of autism has increased tenfold in the last decade. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have called autism a national public health crisis whose cause and cure remain unknown.

One more have you ever and then I’ll let you go, have you ever judged God‘s child, because you didn’t know?